I was around 6-7 years old when I started binge eating. I was a chubby little girl, who was ashamed of her body and afraid to be true to herself.
I spent a little over three decades trying to lose weight to fit the unrealistic expectations of myself and others. Regardless of becoming a competitive athlete or losing weight, I never felt good enough about myself. In every part of my life, I fought to prove that I was worthy of love and acceptance.
Does it sound familiar?
I believed that the way I look defined my worth, and it was the only thing blocking me from having the relationship, friendships and success I was so hungry for. Struggling, fighting, and being stressed was such a regular part of my life, that I never questioned it.
- I had no idea that I could feel good, have joy, harmony and a fulfilling life.
- I had no idea that I deserved to be loved just the way I am.
- I did not know that I could live without the struggle and that I had the right to have everything I dreamed of.
- I did not understand that the relationship I had with myself and my body was the root cause of my struggles and it determined every single choice I made in my life.
Feeling this way ended me with unsupportive relationships and friendships – some of them were emotionally and mentally abusive; neglected myself to please or take care of others; was afraid of conflicts or to voice my needs or feelings; and battled anxiety without me even knowing about it for years! Putting myself last caused other problems in my life too. No matter how hard I worked I had financial struggles.
I followed deprivation diets and intense exercise routines to try to FIX myself. I became a personal trainer for the same reason. At this time, I had not idea that my passion was fueled by my self hatred.
The pain I endured and the loneliness was greater than what I could have handled. I battled many different addictions throughout my twenties and the beginning of my thirties. I tried to escape my pain with parties, drugs, wine, making more money, fighting to be more successful.
Until 2009….when I went through a complete emotional, physical and financial breakdown.
This was the turning point that helped me to find myself. Through emotional healing and spiritual awakening, I healed my relationship with myself & my body. Only when I learned to embrace every single part of who I am, did I become free to create the life I desired.
- I surround myself with loving and supportive people
- I no longer deprive myself or follow intense workout routines to lose weight
- I LOVE my body, and embrace my curves
- I create time to recharge and do the things I enjoy
- I have tons of energy
- I don’t feel bad about saying “NO” to others, standing up for myself or putting myself first
- I hardly ever feel anxious and when I do, it is under my control
- I feel heard and others respect me
I reclaimed my life and my feminine power
These are only some of the changes that showed up in my life as a result of my healing.
I am so grateful today for all I have been through. Sharing my story and my guidance helps many women around the world to reborn and step into their feminine power!